this

is way me last night.

the

other day i went to 12 places. happysadhappysad

so on.

knockout

ideas about love, royal blue, quiet intercourse two happy days together, simultaneously spun. millions of colors, poems about his face. laced with disappointment. we went to the park. i waited while he went to the porter potty. his mouth dissolved my daydreams. bath cube, i can't remember his hands. i think. never in mine in my memory bank. my goldfish died, but i forgive him. we stood by the ocean that night, i was too tired to kiss him. i broke his heart. selfish somber, so sullen. i was just a girl. he broke me, half &half. peculiar pet names, baby talk. petrified pacifier, she introduced me. my stomach turned with excitement, ecstasy sent me through God. i love misery. misery loves me. cloudy curiosity nine means the end.

last year

followed by secret musings of a maniac.
i'm thinkin', falling out, falling off. it's not what you think. yesterday was the coldest day of the year. so far. colder, older, smolder. growing bolder. take everything home but the folder. tell the children god is love. tell them they can be anything. don't tell them about the cold weather. keep them warm. keep them safe. sugar &caffeine. glossy magazine. getting warmer. still born brand new napkin holders. set the table, honey, guests are arriving. departure time. delay, relay watch out for that obstacle course. blue ribbon with honors. she was a great teacher. she read books more than once. she put candy in my report card. we played hockey in the hallways. not really. he was younger than me. he really loved me. double meaning, angry cleaning. two missing pieces, hours of labor. disconnect. flipping force right-side up. malfunction. reduction. production. fan mail, it's hot in here. cold out there. i can't tell which way he went. final text, final remarks. do you get my drift yet? should i spell it out? forty jobs. forty knives. fourty cents. fortyseven. unbelievers. mass receivers. time. always time. einstein nearly lost his mind. don't waste. retract. unpack. fix a flat broke. drained, retained. two pillows &a suitcase. diet coke, please don't smoke. fire starter, don't litter. tell them not to quit. tell them what you will. i was vacating in paradise valley. it's her birthday.
threw me, pretty. how succinct, so succexy. breakthrough, flew to the other side. *checks pulse* still alive. you can stop sending flowers now. so weird, so young, so fashion forward. give me some pot. nothin' wrong with chiefin' nope. she's a fucking fiesta. tres leches confetti eye-shadow for everyone. so smart, smart ass. he changed his name again. forget, forget:)